I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
