if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
