Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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