I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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