Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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