Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
