to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
