i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
