It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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