I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
