Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
