I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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