he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
