We won't sleep together?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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