one two three fourrrrnication!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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