dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
