No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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