Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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