I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
