yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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