lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize