The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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