just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
