Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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