His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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