i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
