I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Success! We fucked roommates!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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