Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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