after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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