Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
