She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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