im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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