Nicole vs. Life
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
A+ Viking dick
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
