my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
