I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
