cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
BRING THE BAGELS
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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