god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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