you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
