SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize