I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
