this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
