Nicole vs. Life
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
