This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
please come you make the beer taste better
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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