in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
