I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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