i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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