Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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