Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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