I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
