Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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