if you like me you must not know who I am
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
