I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
