his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
