you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
