pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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