bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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