So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
your room smells of hookers.
And success
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
the liver wants what the liver wants
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
