so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
