hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
