and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize