Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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