Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
