every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
