I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
