i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
